garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
