I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
