She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
