mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
