Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
