Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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