Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
