literally had 100 drinks last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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