One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
