no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize