Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
