i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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