i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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