Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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