i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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