Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
