We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
