he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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