Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize