He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
