Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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