Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
