maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize