The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Alive.
So much puke
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
