No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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