I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize