Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
