So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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