i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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