I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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