Porn is love you can see.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
