I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
