11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She's JV to your varsity
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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