So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
