so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
