i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
