Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
