he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
