In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
