Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
