we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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