Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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