margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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