if i can run in heels then i can drive
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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