i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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