i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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