I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
