Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
