called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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