I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
