Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
