return my video game
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
