we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
