The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize