FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
