its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
