I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
